What Defines a Woman? By Susan Skipper
- From The Messenger, November 2006 Issue
When I first got the call to write this article, I
didn’t have a clue as to what I would or should
write. I was told the theme was to be “Today’s
Woman” and it scared me to death. I was told just the other
day by a friend that I was a woman who “had it all together”
and I thought, boy, if you only knew how wrong that statement
was, you’d be surprised. Then I got to thinking …
why shouldn’t I write this article? After all, I am a woman
and I do live in today’s world.
I started thinking about what that meant and asked
myself who I really am. I could take a route to answer that
question by writing about my job or my family and friends,
but does that really define who I am? For that matter, are
any of today’s women defined by their relationships or jobs
or family?
I know what I’d like to be, but does that define who I
am? I work with people and money, but that’s not who I
am. I have seven nieces and nephews, but that’s not who I
am. I like to think that I have a few really close friends, but
they don’t define me. I’d like to be slimmer, smarter, and a
better person; but that’s not who I am either.
The only way to define who I am or who any of us are is
to look at who we are in God. Consider the age old question:
If a tree falls in the wilderness and no one is around
to hear it, does it make a sound? The idea being that, in
order for sound to occur, it must travel across the intricate
workings of the inner ear. In the same way, if we exist apart
from Christ, do we really exist at all? The idea here is that
we are only made whole when we are in fellowship with
God.
So, does this mean that I am defined by my church or by
my efforts there? Possibly. Not by what I do in the church,
but by the desire with which I do it. The Bible tells us in
Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do
it with all your might …” (NIV). Therefore, if I teach, I
should teach with all my might. If I pick up trash, I should
do so with all my might. If I keep the nursery, I should do
so with all my might, so that I might be considered a good
and faithful servant, for that is who I truly desire to be.
No matter who I am now, my desire is to be a good and
faithful servant because that is who God has called each of
us to be. So, when life gets me down and when the cares of
this world weigh upon me, I try to remember that I am but a
humble servant in the service of my master.
What does it mean to be a servant? A servant is one
who follows the directions of her Master. She does what
He says in such a way as to receive a pleasing report
from Him. This particular servant happens to work at an
extremely stressful job. A typical day would include numerous
phone calls from clients demanding immediate attention:
investment/tax/estate and financial planning emergencies
and decisions, deadlines and sales goals. When
dealing with other people’s lives and money, things can get
a little hectic.
I have also found that trying to be self-reliant takes a toll
on you. Some of today’s women think that we have to be
completely self-reliant, like Wonder Woman. We start as
little girls wanting to have someone to look up to; someone
who seems to have it all. As women, we tend to expect ourselves
to become that Wonder Woman, in charge of all we
purvey. We think we have to be like that old commercial
where we can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and
never let anybody forget that we are a woman.
But the reality sometimes falls far short of the fantasy,
and if we aren’t careful we can be overwhelmed by the discrepancy
between what the world tells us today’s woman
should be and what we really are. The world tells us that
we don’t need anyone to complete us, including God. If we
listen to this idea of who we should be, we can become very
confused indeed. If we allow our own emotions and desires
to define who we should be they crowd out who God is telling
us we should be. That is why we must allow God to
define who we are. He never changes and His standard for
us never changes.
We can become today’s woman only when we surrender
to the God who created us to be who He wants us to be.
We can rest in the comfort of knowing who we are in Him.
That is the only way in which any of us will truly “have it
all together”.
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